Dear Diary #1
I believe in slowing down and having some kind of a small daily ritual, be it enjoying a cup of tea, doing a quick 6-step skincare routine or drawing a bath and spending some time in a dark bathroom alone, feeling my skin soak up the minerals from the bath salts. 6 step skincare is bullshit, by the way.
This morning I had a couple of calls and decided to have a quiet moment and a tea latte to prepare for the day. I got inspired by the moment and took a picture using a dark, cool-toned filter for the mood and proceeded to write about the quiet moment I was about to have.A quiet moment for 26,000 potential readers to see. Some quiet.A scheduled phone call interrupted my quiet. Half an hour later and I haven’t taken a sip of my tea.
I hung up and took a sip. It was just as tasty and still hot, even. Must have been the clay cup it was served in.
Then I couldn’t write anymore about a quiet moment. It didn’t happen. I could write and no one would know. Life is perfect on photos after all.
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Have you ever dressed an 9-month old in the morning? While your 3 year old is running around and can’t find her socks? While her 6 year old sister is picking out a school outfit and needs a field trip slip signed?Neither have I.
This morning I saw a young mom (at most early 30s) with three kiddos walking to school with a grin on her face. She carries the 9 month old, no stroller. Her and I always say hello. I dropped off my daughter as I do every morning and this AM I asked this young woman how she does it all. She replied, “I don’t think about it, it just sort of happens.” She smiled so wide. Her eyes were smiling, too. It was genuine.
While I contemplated about the fake quiet tea moment I had this morning, I thought how none of these pictures really matter. How none of the grand outbursts and suggestions to fix your self care, your daily life, your ass lift techniques really matter.
The expectations of those quiet moments are interrupted constantly. Phone calls, kids, parents, school work, heartaches. They are real and they are small daily battles that get us from moment to moment. Living moment to moment is the best we can do.
Our own personal moments aren’t to be compared with anyone else’s. Sharing perfection in daily photos is like pointing a finger and reminding someone who may not be having a happy moment that they aren’t enough. We usually get reminders to realize that perception of someone’s life may not be their reality. I suggest we hold ourselves responsible and mindful of others as we share our perfect moments. By that, we lower expectations of our own reality and pass less judgement onto ourselves.
As one of my favorite writers, Tolstoy puts it, "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." Perhaps its the real moments we should choose open up about more and more to evolve as people.